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07-Aug-2017 05:04

Just like Anna Paquin, who tweeted about her bisexuality and marriage for Pride Month, I am a bisexual woman, attracted to both men and women, and I am proudly married to a man who's only attracted to ladies*. But together we have discovered that, through no conscious fault of our own, we confuse people. (More on that later.)Much of this confusion seems to come from two sources: preconceptions about bisexuality and how it works, and preconceptions about marriage and what it's for. Bi people are in a particular bind when it comes to their dating pool: If they find a partner of the opposite sex, they run the risk of being accused of queer treason. Being bi and married to my dude is a wonderful and fulfilling situation, mostly because he is excellent and accepts all my parts, including the bits that like another gender. Sometimes in a way that ends with strange girls trying to break into our room at parties.For example, I'm more sexually attracted to men, but I'm more emotionally attracted to women.Sometimes the two coincide; other times they don't.

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He prefers the term "heterosexual," or, if you want to be precise, a male-identifying person who is female-attracted.Some of us have a lengthy list of sexual partners of multiple genders; others have been only with people of one gender; and still others have never been in a sexual relationship.Just because we haven't been with people of more than one gender doesn't mean we're not really bisexual.Bisexual people have a complicated relationship with the larger LGBT community, and too often we're made to feel like we're not "gay enough." Spaces dominated by gay men and lesbians regularly fail to include us, and we're assumed to be straight or gay based on the gender of our partners.

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There are times when bringing a straight male partner to an LGBT event makes us feel unwelcome.

This tendency makes us feel like you don't trust us to define ourselves, or like we're not "gay enough" to be part of the LGBT community.



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