Problems with dating a widower
The guy’s been married for 30 years, his wife dies in June and he started dating online 2 months later?
My mom didn’t even think of meeting another man until about 3 years after my father passed away. How could you be anything BUT a rebound following a long-term marriage?
Trying to imitate his deceased wife will only lead to an unhealthy relationship for both of your.But this is the norm for widowers –for one of two reasons: either the marriage itself wasn’t that healthy and he was immediately ready to move on, OR, like men of a certain age, he put everything had into his marriage and nothing into any other relationships. As such, you are presumably the first woman he’s been with for many years.So when a woman survives her husband, she’s got a circle of friends from the neighborhood, from work, from her card game, from her book club, from her salsa classes. Regardless, he dictates the terms of the relationship based on HIS needs and schedule. To his credit, he’s taking things slow, to avoid diving into another serious relationship that he may end up regretting.I made that need known last weekend in a calm, rational way.
In your book, you said that if a guy isn’t seeing you more than once a week by the 3 months point, he probably isn’t interested in a serious relationship.Additionally the children will rightfully be missing their mother and may view you as trying to replace her. You may be tempted to help out your partner by taking over a great deal of the parenting responsibilities but this will not only hinder your partners progress in learning how to care for his children but can also make the children resentful of you.In this situation it is advisable to offer your opinions when they are requested and exercise caution to avoid becoming too involved too quickly.While many widows often are reluctant to get into a new relationship after loosing their husband, widowers often have the opposite reaction.